As I started a new week at work today, I found myself thinking about getting into a rhythm and how important that is.
It's pretty easy to get into a routine that isn't good for us - I've been the queen of that particular habit most of my life. I'm the girl who hated to exercise as a child/teen/young woman etc & would do just about anything to avoid it. I was a reader, a dreamer, a crafter who enjoyed hanging out with friends but I was never sporty (unless you count the one summer I played softball [got a black eye by catching the ball with my face, naturally] or the one winter I played hockey [let's just pretend I didn't]).
You might guess where I'm going with this - my inert lifestyle along with a horrendous diet & genes that absorbed any fat that might be lurking in a 5km radius led to me being charitably labelled as a "Big Girl". As I got older, my weight ballooned until I didn't want to even acknowledge myself when looking in the mirror, which I did my best to avoid.
I always had a "pretty face" & was constantly hearing "if only...". If only I was thinner, I could wear prettier clothes, attract a boy, get a better job or get promoted. Why I had to be thin to be treated like everyone else was not something I ever questioned. Life wasn't fair & really wasn't it my fault I was fat? I deserved the treatment I received (or in some cases didn't receive) - that's what I was always hearing form pop culture anyways.
For years, I managed to fool myself into thinking I was "just like everyone else".
But I wasn't like everyone else....I was like 2 or 3 everyone else's.
At my heaviest I could hardly move - going across the street & back was too much work and I despaired of ever again being able to just do something without worry about whether I could actually do it. If I went out, would the seating be comfortable? Would people stare at me? Make snide comments? Was the activity something I could do that wouldn't slow everyone down & make me look stupid? In my younger, somewhat lighter days I had prided myself on being fat but not letting that interfere in me living life. Well my body had begun to interfere big time (no pun intended) and finally it was time to do something about it.
About 2.5 yrs ago, I went to a clinic that specialized in helping people who were morbidly obese start to lose weight naturally without guilt or shame. This is a true rarity in this day and age where fat is an acceptable reason for prejudice & most fat people are treated like some disgusting disease that doesn't deserve to breathe the same air that thinner folks breathe. They referred me to a surgical program a couple hours out of town and I began a 2yr journey towards reclaiming my life & health.
I'm on the other side of the divide now - I'm losing weight and getting healthier. I'm getting more active as my body gets smaller and I'm feeling much more in control of who I am going to become. I can see the promised land and after all the struggle, it's just so worth it.
I'm getting back into the rhythm of life again and it feels wonderful.
It's pretty easy to get into a routine that isn't good for us - I've been the queen of that particular habit most of my life. I'm the girl who hated to exercise as a child/teen/young woman etc & would do just about anything to avoid it. I was a reader, a dreamer, a crafter who enjoyed hanging out with friends but I was never sporty (unless you count the one summer I played softball [got a black eye by catching the ball with my face, naturally] or the one winter I played hockey [let's just pretend I didn't]).
You might guess where I'm going with this - my inert lifestyle along with a horrendous diet & genes that absorbed any fat that might be lurking in a 5km radius led to me being charitably labelled as a "Big Girl". As I got older, my weight ballooned until I didn't want to even acknowledge myself when looking in the mirror, which I did my best to avoid.
I always had a "pretty face" & was constantly hearing "if only...". If only I was thinner, I could wear prettier clothes, attract a boy, get a better job or get promoted. Why I had to be thin to be treated like everyone else was not something I ever questioned. Life wasn't fair & really wasn't it my fault I was fat? I deserved the treatment I received (or in some cases didn't receive) - that's what I was always hearing form pop culture anyways.
For years, I managed to fool myself into thinking I was "just like everyone else".
But I wasn't like everyone else....I was like 2 or 3 everyone else's.
At my heaviest I could hardly move - going across the street & back was too much work and I despaired of ever again being able to just do something without worry about whether I could actually do it. If I went out, would the seating be comfortable? Would people stare at me? Make snide comments? Was the activity something I could do that wouldn't slow everyone down & make me look stupid? In my younger, somewhat lighter days I had prided myself on being fat but not letting that interfere in me living life. Well my body had begun to interfere big time (no pun intended) and finally it was time to do something about it.
About 2.5 yrs ago, I went to a clinic that specialized in helping people who were morbidly obese start to lose weight naturally without guilt or shame. This is a true rarity in this day and age where fat is an acceptable reason for prejudice & most fat people are treated like some disgusting disease that doesn't deserve to breathe the same air that thinner folks breathe. They referred me to a surgical program a couple hours out of town and I began a 2yr journey towards reclaiming my life & health.
I'm on the other side of the divide now - I'm losing weight and getting healthier. I'm getting more active as my body gets smaller and I'm feeling much more in control of who I am going to become. I can see the promised land and after all the struggle, it's just so worth it.
I'm getting back into the rhythm of life again and it feels wonderful.